Fear is NOT Your Future

“To gain your own voice, you have to forget about it being heard.” -Allen Ginsburg

So I recently spoke with a few family members and friends about my desire to finally launch this project. Contrary to my belief, not one person discouraged me from deciding to pursue my writing on a platform such as this. The support was actually overwhelming.

So I then asked myself why I’d been afraid for all of this time. I have been sitting on the idea of this site for TWO years. Yes! You read that correctly two whole years. When I say I’ve been sitting on this I don’t mean I got an idea once I never thought about. Like nope, that’s not what I’m saying. I am saying I’ve composed ideas. Built a layout for my blog multiple times. Written several entries but still, I felt unprepared.

These feelings had nothing to do with my content, my timing, or any factor that I placed the blame on at the time. My skepticism about the success of this project was due to FEAR!!

When I looked up the definition for fear it read: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something dangerous is likely to cause pain or another threat.

Mkay. So I’m like duh I’m afraid. What if the content doesn’t perform well? Or what if people hate what I have to say? Or even what if people dislike and judge my personality?

Well, I’m going to answer all of these questions with a question. How will you know if you never give yourself the chance? And furthermore SO WHAT?

My entire purpose for deciding to document my thoughts on a little corner of the internet was to help me continue to navigate my life and find my voice as I evolve into the woman I once said I’d become as a young girl. So it’s actually silly that I was afraid of people judging ‘my voice because I’m not even sure I’ve found it yet.

I have gotten all the way to this point of pretty much bearing my soul to say: It is okay to be afraid of things but you can’t allow that fear to paralyze you and keep you from truly doing the things that matter to you.

My entire life I’ve always had a niche for writing. And when I say this I mean it! I’ve written short stories, plays, books, songs, and articles. Honestly, you name it, I’ve probably tried writing it!

I've always excelled in English, always been interested in the element of writing and what it means. My joy for writing is what drew me most to Journalism which is what I am currently studying in school.

Though I’m sure I will continue with my writing long after college I have recently been feeling unsure of the life I once envisioned for myself. Because my brain is constantly evolving and changing as I get older my interests are also changing, but the one thing I’ve always known is that I have a purpose with my writing.

I feel that the world we live in is so hypocritical it can feel scary to be out of place. But the beauty in individuality is so much greater than losing out by trying to fit into societal norms. And you could just make your mark by deciding to take a risk and go for what may be considered weird or unusual.

As a young woman it has been a struggle to feel important when life keeps going whether you’ve got the hang of it or not. I’ve always tried to embrace my somewhat quirky and forever-young personality. But at times I’ve felt ashamed of this uniqueness and wanted nothing more than to blend in with the crowd.

Now that I’m entering my ‘grown woman’ era I often feel that my voice has gotten lost within the multitudes. The one place I’ve always felt my voice is amplified is within my writing. It is my calm during the storm. Writing has given me a voice so I'm finally deciding to use it.

I’m taking a leap. I had to decide to become fearless. But let’s set something straight. By no means, have I EVER, EVER considered myself to be a person who is fearless.

Like I gotta be honest, I calculate pretty much everything I do, and I think about the consequences of all of my decisions. And I NEVER give myself too much room for error. Because when I think about the world there are just sooo many opportunities to make mistakes in an age where some people are literally plotting against you.

But I realized I’d been so afraid of the public perception of my voice that in turn, I’ve been silencing it on my own. When I sat to think about it for every person who doesn’t care about my success I have someone in my corner rooting for me. And that support is what is motivating me to try being fearless. But like I said I’m trying.

Because even as I’m writing to you guys talking about overcoming your fears I’m shaking in my bootssss. Although I know this is something I’ve wanted to do literally forever, and maybe even something I’m supposed to do. I am afraid in some aspects I may come up short. Is that fear valid? Of course, it is! Every single emotion that you feel is valid no matter how big or small. But it’s what you do from that point.

Will you work to overcome your fear and become the best version of yourself? If not then I think you may have missed the whole put of me writing this. Well…yikes! But if you’re willing to do what it takes then I’m doing so right along with you.

Screw what everyone else thinks! Challenge yourself and if you fail…challenge yourself again! Write that book, shoot that YouTube video, start your brand, invest in your self-care, and start your business. If there is one thing that I have learned during my very short time as an adult is that you are your biggest enemy.

Although I still have so much more to learn I know that if you work for what you want you’ll achieve the success you deserve. So stop getting in the way of your own success!! If you want something don’t let anyone or anything stop you from accomplishing it.

If you let them, your fears can stop you from advancing to the next stage in your life.

Don’t let your fear become your future.

I hope you enjoyed this piece! And I truly hope my revealing and working through fears here today will allow at least one person to overcome theirs. If so please subscribe, share it with a friend or a few friends, and please keep reading. I can’t wait to grow with you all and take you along with me on this journey.

With Love,

~Lailah